


As Long As It Takes

by MorganaNK



Category: Inspector Lynley - All Media Types, Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-30 00:52:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10149311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: Barbara thinks her behaviour is driving Tommy away





	

**Author's Note:**

> Property of Elizabeth George and the BBC, no copyright infringement intended

I stood nervously in Tommy’s lounge, waiting for him to finish getting ready before we headed out. Although we had been dating for a month, we had yet to move past the holding hands, kissing and caressing stage of the proceedings. He was displaying the patience of a saint, but I knew that I couldn’t keep putting him off for much longer.

The truth was, I was scared. I had had one previous experience of sex, and it had been horrific, leaving me sore, embarrassed and with a nasty UTI. Any time Tommy and I got close, the memory of what had happened made me freeze. I hated that one bad experience, with a man whose name I could no longer remember, was ruining the only relationship that mattered.

I sat on the couch, my head in my hands, tears streaming down my face. Who on earth was kidding? It was only a matter of time before Tommy told me that it wasn’t working for him and moved on to someone with better breeding, legs up to her armpits, who would make all his dreams come true, and I would be left with nothing.

“Barbara? What’s wrong?”

Tommy rushed across the room, falling to his knees beside me, trying to take my hand. I turned away from him, scrubbing my eyes with the heels of my hand.

“It’s nothing. Sorry.”

“Don’t lie to me Barbara, I’m not blind and I’m not stupid.”

“I didn’t say that you were.”

“You told me that there was nothing wrong, and it is obvious that there is; that’s lying. We’ve always told each other the truth, even when it was painful and we didn’t want to hear it. Tell me what’s going on Barbara?”

I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my face against them. I felt Tommy sit next to me and begin to run his hand up and down my spine, trying to comfort me, and I hated myself a little bit more.

I turned my head to look at him, “why do you put up with me?”

He shifted closer, wrapping his arm around me. “I don’t put up with you, I love you, just as you love me.”

“But I can’t give you what you need!”

Tommy lifted me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. I rested my head on his chest, letting his warmth surround me and calm me.

“You are what I need Barbara, you always have been, even when I was too stupid to realise.”

“But… I’m not able to, you know. I can’t.”

“Barbara, a relationship isn’t about sex. Yes, it is part of it, but it isn’t the be all and end all. I am not going to leave you because you don’t feel ready for us to make love.”

“I’m scared Tommy.”

“What scares you? You can tell me.”

“I’ve only done it once, and it was horrible. He really hurt me, and I ended up with a UTI. That’s why I freeze any time we get close, and it’s not fair on you.”

Anger darkened Tommy’s face. “How did he hurt you?”

I rushed to reassure him, “it wasn’t an assault or anything like that, he just didn’t care. It sounds crude but I could have been a blow-up doll, all he was interested in was his release; I was just a hole for him to stick it in. I’m not scared of you Tommy, I’m scared of the act”

Tommy’s hold on me tightened, and I could feel him shaking. Obviously he was still cross, but at least he wasn’t cross with me.

“When the time is right, when we both feel ready, I promise you it will be nothing like your past experience. I will make sure that it is pleasurable for both of us, and memorable for all the right reasons.”

“And you don’t mind waiting?”

He stroked my face, kissing my forehead, “I will wait however long it takes. I love you Barbara, and I’m not going anywhere.”

I smiled at him cheekily, relieved that we had spoken but needing to lighten the atmosphere. “You promised to take me to dinner.”

“I’m having far too much fun sitting here, cuddling you. We’ll get a takeaway,” he kissed me, “later,” he kissed me again, my arms sliding around his neck, “much, much later.”


End file.
